Five Tips for Parents to Prepare for an IEP Meeting

Guest Contributor:

Talisha Bond, PhD, Licensed Clinical and School Psychologist

As a school psychologist, I have participated in hundreds of special education meetings. I’ve watched parents bring in highlighted reports and a list of prepared questions. I have also seen them overwhelmed, sometimes intimidated, by the barrage of information presented, barely speaking throughout the meeting. 

I often wondered what it felt like to sit in their chairs around a table full of professionals talking about their children as though they knew them best. Now that I have a child with special needs, I am beginning to see through the lens of the parent at the table. 

I always make a concerted effort to prioritize connecting with the parents and caregivers to ensure I present information concisely but informatively. My goal for parents is to leave the meeting with a better understanding of their child’s strengths and weaknesses and, most importantly, feel empowered to support their child and continue advocating for their needs. However, not everyone at the table has the same approach.

Although there are many resources available that explain the special education process, procedural safeguards, and differences between federal and state special education laws, parents often have to dig a little deeper to get information on what happens during an eligibility or IEP meeting (where your child’s Individualized Education Program is developed).  Below are some tips to help you feel better prepared for these discussions as well as help you stay in the driver’s seat throughout the entire process. After all, you are your child’s strongest advocate, and there is nothing wrong with making sure everyone in the room knows that! 

How to Prepare for Your IEP Meeting and What to Expect During

• Find out what to expect. Walking into a meeting where your child is the central topic can be anxiety-provoking. Clarifying as many unknowns as possible prior to the meeting can help alleviate some stress. Reach out to the special education coordinator and request a copy of the meeting agenda. Find out exactly who will be attending the meeting, the estimated length of the meeting, and how much time you will have to ask the individual evaluators questions about their findings during the meeting. Because schools schedule numerous meetings on a weekly basis, this basic information might be left out of the invitation, or simply assumed.   
  

• Review the reports prior to the meeting. You should receive a copy of all paperwork reviewed at the meeting (e.g., evaluation reports and IEP drafts) at least 5 days prior to the scheduled meeting. If the meeting is quickly approaching and you are still waiting for the reports, reach out to the special education coordinator to request copies. Take advantage of having the reports ahead of time and familiarize yourself with the contents. Make notes where something seems inaccurate or confusing. Review the recommendations at the end of the reports and highlight any that you want to try but need more explanation on how to implement the strategy fully.
  

• Clarify confusing information and ask questions. How evaluators present information can vary widely. Some read directly from their reports, while others “hit the highlights.” Sometimes, the findings are explained in a very relatable manner, and sometimes, the evaluator uses a lot of jargon or technical terms, which leaves your head spinning. Either way, it might feel like you are disrupting the flow of the meeting by asking questions, or you might feel like your only option is to nod along and utter an occasional “Umm, hmm.” Keep in mind that at the end of the meeting, you will be asked whether or not you agree with the eligibility determination or you will have to decide whether or not to consent to services. To make an informed decision, you must understand all your options and the rationale for what is being offered or denied. In other words, don’t hesitate to stop and ask questions! 

• Share your expertise. As a member of the IEP team, your opinion and input hold just as much weight as anyone else’s at the table. After all, you know your child better than anyone there. This process should be a collaborative one that consists of a merging of ideas on how best to support your child’s needs. Be sure to share your observations at home in terms ofhow your child approaches their work, handles challenging tasks, and manages frustration. Let the team know about your child’s interests, which can serve as motivators in the school setting. Share your child’s dislikes or worries if those things present unnecessary obstacles at school. If you have specific ideas on what might be helpful for your child or know from previous experiences that a particular strategy was not beneficial, be sure to share that information. 

  
  

• Leave with action steps to continue supporting your child. Most, if not all, of these meetings are focused on what your child needs in the school setting. However, it is just as important for you to leave the meeting with strategies you can implement at home to reinforce skills taught at school. As the team reviews IEP goals, ask, “What can I do at home to help reinforce these skills?” Staying in close communication with your child’s general education and special education teachers will also provide you with opportunities to get ideas on how to generalize learning to the home setting. By working on your child’s goals along with his or her school providers, you will be in a better position to assess what is working or needs tweaking at the next meeting. 

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Dr. Talisha Bond has practiced as a clinical psychologist since 2011 and as a licensed school psychologist for DC Public Schools since 2013. In 2013, she started conducting developmental evaluations through Early Stages for preschool-aged children (DC Public Schools Child Find). She is currently school-based and works full-time at Van Ness Elementary School. Her work includes collaborating with multi-disciplinary teams as part of the Special Education process, facilitating the Response to Intervention Team, and consulting with teachers and families regarding social-emotional and behavioral topics. Dr. Bond is also a licensed clinical psychologist in Maryland and maintains an independent practice. She has experience working with children ranging from 4-18 years old, with a particular interest in preschool and elementary school-aged boys and girls. She has worked in a variety of settings including community mental health centers, an inpatient psychiatric children’s hospital, and schools to treat a range of disorders as well as provide parent and teacher coaching. Her doctoral dissertation identified school characteristics associated with dropout rates for Black and White students in 280 Virginia high schools. She was a member of the UVA Youth Violence Project research team for four years and contributed to research on the Virginia Student Threat Assessment Guidelines.