Building Emotional Resilience: Tools to Help Autistic Kids Understand Feelings

Emotional resilience is a crucial skill that helps children adapt to life’s challenges and regulate their responses to stress. For neurodivergent kids—those with autism, ADHD, or other neurodiverse conditions—building this skill can be especially important, as they may experience heightened sensitivities and challenges in emotional regulation. Here, we explore tools and strategies to support neurodivergent kids in navigating big feelings and fostering resilience.

Understanding Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience refers to the ability to recover from emotional distress and adapt to adversity. For neurodivergent children, resilience often requires an extra layer of support due to differences in sensory processing, communication, and social interactions. By tailoring strategies to their unique needs, caregivers and educators can empower these kids to handle intense emotions and thrive.

Key Tools and Strategies

1. Develop Emotional Vocabulary

Helping neurodivergent kids name and identify their emotions is foundational to emotional resilience. Tools like:

• Emotion cards: Visual aids with faces and corresponding feelings (e.g., happy, sad, frustrated).

• Storybooks: Stories featuring characters navigating emotions can resonate deeply.

Encourage consistent practice by integrating these tools into daily routines, such as morning check-ins or bedtime reflections.

Please note, color-coded emotion cards used to be recommended as a solution, however we now know these are not helpful, and could even be crippling for kids moving forward. This is because we do not want to connect colors with feelings. Certain colors can also be too stimulating and may lead to sensory overload. Instead, encourage your kids to name their emotions. 

2. Create a Sensory-Friendly Calm Space

When big feelings arise, a designated calm space can help kids self-soothe. It’s important to get your child's feedback and help in understanding what things and environments help them feel supported and safe when they feel overwhelmed.

Design this area with:

• Soft textures: Weighted blankets or plush cushions.

• Dim lighting: Adjustable lighting or sensory lamps.

• Soothing tools: Noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, or stress balls.

Teach your child to use this space proactively when they feel overwhelmed, rather than waiting until emotions escalate.

3. Practice Emotional Regulation Techniques

Introduce simple, effective techniques for managing emotions, such as:

• Deep breathing exercises: Use tools like pinwheels or bubble blowers to make this practice engaging.

• Mindfulness activities: Resources like mindful coloring books can help build focus and calm. Other tools like the THRIVE app allow you to build in your calming strategies and use them when you need them or schedule them into your child’s daily routine.

• Movement-based outlets: Activities like yoga, stretching, walking, or just dancing around provide a physical release for pent-up energy.

4. Leverage Visual Schedules and Social Stories

Transitions and unexpected changes can trigger big feelings in neurodivergent kids. Visual schedules and social stories prepare them for what to expect:

• Visual schedules: Use pictures or icons to represent daily activities, creating a predictable structure. The THRIVE app changes the way you plan your child's day, through a comprehensive, feature-rich visual planning.

• Social stories: Short, personalized narratives explain situations and appropriate emotional responses, helping kids feel prepared and secure.

5. Foster a Supportive Environment

A supportive environment builds resilience by affirming a child’s worth and abilities. Key aspects include:

• Validating emotions: Acknowledge feelings without judgment (“I see you’re upset, and that’s okay.”).

• Reframing mistakes: Emphasize learning from challenges rather than focusing on failures.

• Modeling emotional regulation: Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress, showing kids that it’s okay to take time to calm down.

6. Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Progress

Small, achievable goals help neurodivergent kids build confidence and resilience over time. Celebrate milestones, no matter how minor, to reinforce a sense of accomplishment. For instance:

• Acknowledge successful use of coping tools.

• Praise their ability to express emotions appropriately.

• Highlight improvements in navigating challenging situations.

  
  

Collaborating with Professionals

For more tailored support, consider involving professionals such as occupational therapists, speech therapists, or counselors who specialize in working with neurodivergent kids. These experts can provide personalized strategies and tools to enhance emotional resilience.

Steps to Thrive

Building emotional resilience in autistic and neurodivergent kids is a journey that requires patience, creativity, and empathy. By equipping them with the right tools and creating a nurturing environment, caregivers can help children navigate big feelings and develop the skills they need to thrive. Remember, every small step forward is a victory worth celebrating.